The High Five Test

There's too many people in Portland, but at the same time it seems like everyone in Portland knows everyone.  I say this because, I have tried dating in Portland and had some very positive and negative results.  This one experience, though, has changed the way I treat first (or second) dates and it all revolves around this simple act.  

It's true.  As I'm sure many others felt, I've been searching for my Jim Halpert ever since The Office started in 2005.  This is not about the thoughts I've had about changing my profession to receptionist though, this is all about the high five.  

I had met this guy through mutual friends, as it seems most of my dates have happened.  We had a normal first date at The Great Lost Bear, conversation clicked, we had similar taste in music, and we exchanged numbers and planned for the second date that week.  I left the first date feeling great!  He had a good head on his shoulders, had a beard, and he seemed to take my awkwardness in stride.  

The second date we planned on having dinner and then going to a bar of my choosing and a bar of his choosing to show each other what we valued in the various bars in Portland.  Things started great, (even though I do think the food at Duckfat is overrated), and even though I could tell that he wasn't as blown away by the drink specials at Dock Fore as I am, the back and forth between us was going well. When it was time for his bar choice he decided on Three Dollar Deweys.  We were probably both about three drinks in, getting to that giggly, happy point in the night and I thought things were only going to go up from there. 

Then one moment ruined it all.  This may not seem as earth shattering to those of you reading this, but you have to put yourselves in my position.  If you know me, you know I am a very upbeat, positive person.  I'm also extremely awkward, and pretty sensitive in these situations with new people.  Me and this guy had been agreeing on a lot of topics.  At one point I was so surprised in his reaction (he probably said it was okay that I'm obsessed with Battlestar Galactica), that my positive reaction was to reach out and give him a high five.  (Note: This was not a high five you give someone at the end of a relay race, or when you pass your LSATs, it was a small high five, elbow high over the table where we were sitting.)

His reaction: "Ooooooooh, not really a high fiver." Leaving my hand awkwardly floating over the table.  

Now I understand, maybe he's not a high fiver.  The point is, you don't have to be a high fiver to give someone that you have known for probably a total of 5 hours a gentle high five to show them support.  It's called getting to know one another.  I may not think that every Journey song is a classic, but if you buy it on the juke box I'm not going to be that person that refuses to hum along to "Don't Stop Believin'" 

Needless to say, I didn't call him back.  I think that there's an important give and take in relationships.  On the second date, aren't you still supposed to be taking steps to make one another feel comfortable?  The fact that you're not a high fiver can be told to me a little later.  Or not at all.  Seriously, who just refuses to high five?  

So now, on first or second dates I offer a high five test to whoever I am out with.  I don't expose it as a test, but I set up a situation where they will ultimately shut me down or appease a habit that I refuse to break.  No one else has failed this test since this one guy, which leaves me hopeful that I will find a Jim Halpert or even a Barney Stinson someday in Portland.