When you make a teacher's salary, you basically have two choices for working out in Portland, Maine. There's World Gym, which seems like the gym you go to when you realize the flaws of Planet Fitness. Or there's the Judgment Free Zone, otherwise known as Planet Fitness.
I ultimately chose the worst night to go back. It's January 6th, so not only am I competing with the usual crowd that can't beat that sweat for only 10 dollars a month, but pile on a fresh crop of people with resolutions. It's been a cold month though, I've been feeling that extra layer forming underneath my layers of sweaters. My mum even got me (guilt trip gifted me) beautiful new Mizunos which I actually look forward to putting on.
The race to PF at 5pm is a shared stress of many. I changed into workout clothes in my office at school in such a rush, lodging some wool from my sweater into my contact, but believing this gave me some lead over others. Getting there, spitting out your code and finding a machine open that you actually enjoy using, is a true feeling of triumph.
How my first night back went:
1. I fumbled with my iphone headphones like a kitten playing with yarn while already beginning to elliptical. Double tasking at it's finest, I'm sure my neighbors were mildly entertained.
2. What the heck is the new black card spa?! It's been three years with the white card, I'm never going black!
3. The pipes were leaking above my equipment. Either that or my perspiration was dripping back down on to me, this could have been the case.
4. Lots of men in tank tops, not cut off shirts, tank tops. I don't even like working out in tank tops.
5. Of course the night I come back is free pizza night, and my elliptical is first in line to the 12 plus pizza boxes in the lobby. The pizza is OTTOs. A lot of people eat pizza before working out, I'm pretty jealous.
6. I'm never going to be someone that can have a fun, or flirty conversation while working out. My maraschino cherry glow is the cue to leave me alone. (My brother and his wife met at PF in Bangor, truly a fairy tale.)
7. Now the equipment also says "YOU BELONG", how many positive catch phrases does a gym need?
Okay, enough griping. When I got off my bike and made the transition back into my sweats and boots, I did feel much more accomplished then I did earlier today. Working out is something I used to love to do, and as much as I don't think the air quality in Planet Fitness is necessarily healthy, I can't wait to get back into the swing of things.
I'm doing this for you, Daniel Craig. One down, a bunch more to go!
To conclude, with the fine words of Elle Woods:
How about getting a shock from the machine through your ear buds into your ears!? The worst!! Glad you had a good gym sesh! Love you!
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